Do you every feel like life takes on a momentum of its own? I know I do! As we pass through the decades of our lives, one decision blends into the next. Finally, as we reach our 60s and we finally have time to evaluate our lives, it’s easy to wonder “how did I get here?”

On some level, we all know that the secret to longevity and happiness after 60 isn’t found in the latest pills and potions that the “anti-aging” industry pushes at us. The best tonic for longevity is to live well – to surround ourselves with good friends, new experiences, healthy food and worthwhile dreams. But, if you are feeling a bit apprehensive about life after 60, you may be looking for some more specific advice. After all, we all know what makes us happy, but, knowing how to make ourselves happy is another matter!

On some level, I guess we all dislike change. In fact, for most of our lives, we have done everything in our power to find stability. Most of us looked for “safe” jobs. We tried to get our family to “safe” neighborhoods. Now that we are 60, we are told to put our investments in something “safe.” In all of these cases, the word safe also means predictable.

Do you every feel like you are chasing happiness? How many times have you said, “When I get _______ I’ll finally be able to do ______.” Or, “If only _____ would happen, I could finally be happy!” This kind of thinking comes so naturally to us that we barely even notice it. Unfortunately, natural as it may be, this kind of thinking also prevents us from being happy in the present.

By the time we reach our 60s, most of us have made our share of sacrifices. We have relocated to support our husband’s careers, put our dreams on hold for our children and supported our communities at our own expense. I’m not saying that any of these actions are wrong – far from it! I’m simply saying that most of us have made a habit of putting others before ourselves.

So much of our life is spent trying to please other people. While some women are able to find the strength to truly be themselves at every stage in their lives, the majority of us feel compelled to care what other people think along the way. But, regardless of how we got here, the good news is that, now that we are in our 60s, we all have the opportunity to be who we really are.

Women over 60 are a resilient lot. We’ve had to be. Throughout our lives we have battled discrimination in the workplace and crayons on the walls at home. We have loved and lost. We have followed our dreams and encountered more than our fair share of nightmares. Now, as we reach our 60s, despite our natural resiliency some of us feel a bit battered and bruised by life.

Women over 60 have lived complicated lives. By the time we reach our 60th birthday, we have our share of battle scars. Some of us have lost someone close to us. All of us have, in one way or another, battled discrimination and stereotypes. Throughout our lives, we have faced questions of body-image. Now, as we enter our 60s, we have a choice to make. Will we allow our negative self-talk to prevent us from living our dreams? Or, will we take control and replace our doubts with positive emotions and a desire to get the most from life after 60? Here are 5 of the most common negative statements that women make to themselves, consciously or unconsciously and, more importantly, what we can do about them.

I once heard a quote, “People that say that money can’t buy happiness must be going to the wrong shops.” Well, according to science, whoever said this was right – but, not for the reasons that they probably meant…